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The Gringarican Handbook - stories about moving to Vieques, PR, life in the slow lane and becoming a Gringarican

Sisters, Irving Berlin, 1954

I need my sister.  Its 9:45pm and I am finally eating something - cheese, crackers and vodka.  That's a selection from several of the major food groups - dairy, grain and booze.  I did buy these three food (?) items when I bought downtown Morales out of cleaning products.
Up at 4am - well, make that 3 to catch the 4am shuttle to catch the 5:30am plane.  I arrived in Vieques in record time, but unfortunately my checked baggage didn't, so the publico driver I had secured just left my carry on sitting on the sidewalk and took someone else while I was talking to the baggage guys.  Nice guys those drivers.
My bag should be on the next plane, arriving in ten minutes.  OK, this gives me a chance to get some dog love from two recently uncaged Chessies and exchange a few pleasantries with their mother.
Once at Rosada I open every window that isn't stuck and turn on every fan.  I have my work cut out for me and don't know where to begin, so I just walk around.  I start a list of cleaning supplies.  I can't put any of my clothing away because there's nothing to put it in, plus I need to clean.  Its a Catch 22.  So, I just pull things out and leave a mess.  Unbelievably, the phone works!!  This took an act of God and many phone calls and countless time on hold.  All well worth it now!
There is activity next door - the girls with the Chessies that I met at the airport - crazy!  From Las Vegas, Emily will be renting for 3 months with an option for longer.
After buying $100 worth of cleaning products, I lug my groceries up the hill (no car).  I have an appointment with the local used car dealer in the morning so hopefully my days of dragging my cart around and looking like a bag lady will soon be over.  At home I am again confused.  At least I cleaned the fridge before I left.  I pile my "products" on the "kitchen table" and let the scrubbing begin, starting with cabinets, which I empty, clean, sort and rearrange.  Where did all of these ugly pictures and curtains come
 from?  I will leave the curtain and picture project for tomorrow as well.
The fan in the bedroom only has one speed - slow.  We definitely need more ceiling fans.  The electric cord hanging in the shower is scary.  I can hear my neighbor talking in his sleep.  I want my sister.  I could use a good pants wetting laugh!

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